Balancing 101: a new view from the tightrope
Leaders are busy and this can create immense imbalance. When it comes to mastering ellusive work-life balance, Learning Leaders do it differently.
For years, I’ve recharacterized (and flat-out resisted) the idea of work-life balance. I’ve said things like:
“It’s not about work-life balance, the goal is harmony.”
“It’s not imbalanced to work tirelessly toward your passions.”
“Leadership is calling—it’s a lifestyle, not a job.”
While these perspectives are (in whole or in part) reasonable, there’s a raw nerve underneath them that I’ve resolved to press and see what I can learn.
(Yes, ouch … learning usually brings discomfort.)
To start, I’ve discovered that when it comes to work life balance, I am stuck. I get the idea, but resist the (many) recommendations to solve it. Like most leaders, I can’t easily unload parts of my life, and actually suspect doing so would leave me with a false, and frankly fleeting, balance.
The data suggest other people are also stuck:
60% of employees in one poll claim to possess good work-life balance (cheers all around). And yet, in the same survey, 77% of employees have experiened burnout at least once in their current job. Not very balancy.
Another ping pong pattern: 72% say: a good work life balance is very important. And yet? 66% often skip one meal or more a day because of work.
Finally: 91% of surveyed employees decided to work remotely because they wanted a better work-life balance. The reality? The number of remote workers who work over 40 hours a week was 43% higher than those who said the same and worked in an office.
In sum, the evidence displays at once both our espoused values for and our general failure to achieve work life balance. We want it, or something like it, but can’t reach it.
And when we are stuck, it’s time to learn; in this case: learn to think and behave differently with respect to the concept of balance.
Don’t force better balance.
Learn to balance better.
Google the concept of work life balance and the usual avalanche of content prescribes contortion-like corrective action to fix yourself. But, solving this problem requires more than the latest project management software or life hacking app. We need to learn some new skills, habits, and mindsets.
What if we change how we understand the problem?
Maybe we don’t need better work life balance, but rather become:
Better at Balancing
A 2021 article published in Harvard Business Review (Lupu & Ruiz Castro) supports this hypothesis, suggesting work life balance is a cycle, not a destination. Aha! So, how do we master the cycle?
Disect and hone the skills, habits, mindset, and commitment required to balance like a pro, that’s how.
Instead of focusing on everything piled on the work-life scale, (which for the typical leader presents an almost impossible choice), or striving to force (what might be) an unnatural “perfect” balance —what if we learn to become stronger and more agile, focused, relaxed and more competent at balancing?
My hunch? Such learning will develop us to more naturally shed unnecessary weight that bogs down our scales.
Start here: Reflection and practice. Specifically, reflection and practice that builds cognitive flexibility and emotional awareness. When we pause and take time for this kind of mindful workout, we improve our competency to think creatively and on our feet. We learn to understand our emotions and how best to use them, rather than be used by them. We expand our conviction of what is possible and what is just extraneous. And as these competencies develop, our capacity for balance improves and strengthens, too.
Looking to grow your skillfulness through a balance bootcamp? Get in touch and book a 45-minute Drop-in Session and let’s build a plan.
